Life so far..

How much more worse can things get?
2012 started badly this year in my opinion. First, Japan had an earthquake then recently, the flood scarred the hearts of us Kuchingnites by robbing us of two people who were dearly loved by some of us. But then, up till recently, on Saturday to be specific, the worst thing any brother can ever get came to me. And since then, life's been a living hell for me.

I was in church for the evening mass and coincidentally, I was late for mass.. Was feeling upset cause I don't like being late for things, then I got a call from my dad. At first I thought he just wanted to check up on me so I didn't answer the phone. Then, my mom called. Finding this peculiar, I answered the phone knowing if the both of them had to call me during mass, it had to be an emergency. Mom said something had happened and I had to go over to my uncle's place immediately. Alarmed, because of what happened recently with the floods, I thought an accident had happened, so then I rushed out of the church, ran to my car and drove as fast as I could to my uncle's house.

When I reached, Mom and Dad weren't there, so I had to wait. Aunt said something had happened to my brother which left me even more frightened because he stays in K.L. and we're so far away we can't really do anything. Just so you know, THAT was the worst 15 minutes of my life having to wait for my parents to reach to deliver the bad news. During that time, countless scenarios and possibilities came into my mind making me feel even worse... When my parents came, they delivered the bad news. Something had happened to my brother ( Classified ). When my dad finished talking, I just sat there dumbstruck ever so shocked that something so tragic could happen to me, to my family and especially to my brother. Throughout the whole talk, I was near tears trying to accept the fact that all of this is really happening. My only brother by blood in this world. There is a chance that I may never be able to see him again and to be honest, till now, I am still in shock still trying to see whats really real hoping that it was all just a bad joke/dream.

2 hours later, my parents were on the first ticket to K.L. leaving me to care for my sister, giving me the responsibilities they held. And that's how life has been till now. Me living only with my sister while my parents are there trying their best to get things right. I can't get a job now cause I'm now fully in charge of my dad's business which I've to watch over until God-knows-when they come back. I can't go to my church camp which   

I've been looking forward to for a year.. Its been 3 days since then and I'd barely managed to get sleep. So much pressure is on me and the fact that my life will never be the same anymore scares the hell out of me. I'm glad I've friends who support me even when I am unable to tell them what has truly happened. Life as it is was supposed to happen to me somewhere in the future, not now :( It feels like all the things I'm supposed to feel 15 years from now is all on me now.Oh dear God, I ask of you to provide me with strength and hope to endure this. I lift all that I have now up to you.

I love you Aaron and I hope, I pray you're alright over there. Please be safe :(

As always,
Adrian x)